IELTS Writing Task 2: model answer for a high score of 8.5

Here is an example of an Oxbridge English student from Thailand. We scored this essay as 8.5, the same score he went on to get in the real test.

Go through this essay and analyse why it is scores so highly.

Are there any mistakes or awkward sentences?

We will post our analysis of this essay next week.

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

It is beyond dispute that peoples in modern countries live longer than before. Although it is agreed that there will be negative problems of this, government and the individual can help to control possible problem.

First of all since people live longer in modern countries, problems in relation to these arise. The biggest problem is that there will be more people drawing their state pension. The amount of people under state pension age – in other words working adults – will be fewer, and as a result government will therefore get less money from taxation. Thus, an older population of workers will  have to pay more taxes. Not just this, pressure will also be placed on health services, and someone has to look after the old, this is naturally going to fall on younger relative, sons and daughters.

There are a number of ways government can solve these problems related above. First, raising the age at which a person becomes eligible for their state pension. With life expectancy much higher than when pensions were invented, people don’t need to retire at 65, but – white collar workers in particular – should continue being productive on to 70 say. A further solution is for government to encourage immigration from developing nations – whose populations tend to be younger – to grow the number of taxpayers. Last, taxes could be redistributed from other parts of the finance budget, such as defence, and given to healthcare that the senior citizens will need.

In sum, there are a number of steps government can take to address the issues caused by an ageing population.

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